Day 28 [Alesha’s HCG Journey]

I have been having a really hard time this past weekend. I feel like I am doing everything right accept for getting in all my water on occasion. I woke up to a .5 gain on Sunday morning then this morning I have a 1.5 gain! I know at least with me, I cannot move during the day on this diet. When I do, I have a stall or a gain. On Saturday we were out running the errands we need to run on a weekly basis. Yesterday I took my 10 month old son to the pool for the first time. I tried my hardest but I had to swim around a little bit. I decided yesterday that I mentally need a break and am only doing 30 days, then maintenance then another 30 days before my summer fun starts. I wish I was stronger enough to go to at least 45 if not the 60 but the food is really starting to depress me. I have realized thru this process that I am an extremely emotional eater. Not necessarily eating when I am sad or what not, just that food brightens my mood. I am unbelievably grumpy day after day just because I know I don’t get anything that is appetizing to me. I am glad I at least have learned that much on me but at the same time, at what price? I have become depressed, grumpy and bitey towards everyone it seems.

Trust me, I am in no way de-evaluating the process, I am beside myself I have come so far but at the same time, I am loosing great progress the last few days of being on protocol that I have lost by gaining for stupid reasons. I purposely stayed up late last night just to make sure I got all my water in. While trying to stay up I was researching the maintenance phase and was getting so excited b/c of all the before and after pics and such. Then I wake up to this gain and I feel stuck again. I keep telling myself every day is a new day but I have been saying that for a while. I am considering an apple day tomorrow if I see a gain again.

I also think I need to see a physcologist b/c I have noticed all the suppressed emotions and stuff that are coming up now that I am loosing the weight. Don’t worry, I am not acting on that, it was just a thought I had. This is definitely one of the hardest things I have ever done but I am happy with the results thus far. Hopefully this finds you on a good day.