Yesterday was the best day of them all so far! I felt like I could handle everything. My mind was sharp and I had energy to spare.
I made my family dinner without any feelings of wanting any. (Except there was this one weird little moment when I was making gravy. It was very strange to me to have to have my hubby taste test it as opposed to doing it myself. He said it was good and then [as though I didn’t believe him or something] I asked a million times, “It doesn’t need pepper?” “It doesn’t need this?” “It doesn’t need that?”
See, I pride myself to be an excellent cook. I am starting to realize THAT is part of my issue. I like to experiment with recipes, taste them, test them, add this or that to them… CREATE.
I feel good about myself when I put a nice tasty meal on the table. I love to hear my friends and family say, “Oh Jodi. This is the best blah blah I have ever had.” I love it when my hubby’s co workers say, “Dang dude. What did your wife hook you up with today?” I love having my neighbors walk by and mention a smell coming my house and say, “Smells yummy.”
BUT I realized last night that I have been standing at the stove creating meals (by tasting and then tasting some more) AND sitting at the table and eating a full meal too. Hmm… Oh, and did I mention this happened while making gravy? Another light bulb went off. Perhaps it’s time to learn to create on a healthier level! I can handle that though. Learning to cook healthier will satisfy my passion for creating and placing a delicious meal on the table, and offer me a new challenge as well. Gonna see if I can still get comments like above AND have the meal be a healthy one.
It’s amazing how self aware you become on this journey. That’s a good thing, mostly. It’s not always easy to face your emotional ties to food.
I guess we should chalk it up to a “necessary evil,” like waxing!